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April 24, 2003 - 9:50 a.m. aside from the fact that "glamour" magazine is a homo's worst nightmare, i frequently find myself perusing it's pages. oddly enough, i survived the entire magazine's contents, only to be blindsided at the end by the article, "12 reasons to love every inch of your body". I was coping quite well with reason number one, "because it feels so good in old jeans and a t-shirt", until, that is, I read reason number two..."because of the way your hips fit perfectly into....HIS!!!? when you're spooning". Was that really necessary. I suppose that after the entire magazine's contents this shouldn't come as a shock, but it's just so ignorant on so many levels, Dear Glamour, although i appreciate your efforts to recognize diversity in women's body shapes, which you've proven by using two plus size (read size 12) models in your entire 318 page issue. However, has it ever occured to you that maybe not all your readers are heterosexual? Yes, even lesbians read shallow, image oriented magazines, loving every page of your Betty Crocker, do's and don'ts, the corset is ba-ack! bullshit. That is, until we get to the part on "how to get a man". Your sixth reason, "because there's no lovelier place for a diamond than the fourth finger of your left hand". How bout on my clit piercing? or on its way to some impoverished nation, to do more good than it will sitting on my dresser or in a safety deposit box, as a sign of my inherent worth as a valuable female object of male desire. To give Glamour some credit, they did feature an article "one of these men has a secret, He used to be a she". OOOOOH, let's sensationalize instead of legitimize gender deviants, Califia would have a field day with this article. They even describe with "flare" (ha get it) the tan khakis he wore to return to school as a, gasp, man! here's the best part, the caption, "Why would someone WANT a SEX change?"... "experts still aren't sure".. why don't you ask the experts that WANT them? I guess you have to spell it out to the masses who read this, make it sound like a guessing game or a quiz so they'll read it instead of shutting the magazine and writing you a letter, like this, except saying, why would a well adjusted sexually healthy successful woman like myself, want to read about freaks and perverts? Even in their attempts at inclusion, they point out the assumption that heterosexuality, gender and body size is always in opposition to something else, something "normal". Glamour, you so eloquently celebrate compulsive heterosexuality, coupledom, wealth, appearance and the incredible importance of celebrity watching, what would i do without you? All i can say is, just wait til I infiltrate. I'll take over as artistic director, editor... just wait until your pages reek of dyke. your spreads won't just be about touting lesbianity as a ploy to sell Gucci Rush. In closing all i really want to say is, although I cherish your new wave 1950s nostalgia, where it's okay to be a good homemaker, as long as you look good while you do it, because now Gucci makes stilettos that won't dint your kitchen floor... Thankyou for your dedicated efforts to support and substantiate hetero-normativity.
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