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April 25, 2003 - 11:30 a.m.

The Martin Tingley Project...

cut to the basement, UC residence,

the pot party

an entire film could evolve from the conspiracy that night, where fervent feelings snowballed into uncontrollable rage...

subject: Martin Tingley...

(six foot something, bare chested, longhaired menace... shits in our bathroom, wears yellow pants, white bandana and pisses in the laundry room sink)

Vengeance will be taken.. grade six style.

After wandering down to the basement, guided by the sweet herbal aroma, we met the chilled out group, and then....

smoke the biggest joint of our lives.

THe film transpires... our subject pops up as we hear running footsteps in the hall, the door opens and slams shut behind two breathless vigilantes... "we got the picture off his door!!!"

they parade his name tag around the room, debating what we will do with it.

WE decide to make a shrine in the bathroom stall where the offense itself has occurred. that will get the message across... if not he will certainly understand the signage...

'if y'all don't live here, stop stinking up our bathroom. Wallace house, use your own toilets, you stinky jerks. ps. stop pissing in the sinks.. .ewwwwwww.'

eloquently written.

we spent the rest of the night being freaked out,...anytime someone left the room we feared for... Martin Tingley's revenge. On our way to the dining hall we saw his shape looming down the corridor... lumbering towards the pot party...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

we scattered.

now to the fun part. quotations from the script to be.

keep in mind this is supposed to be a representation of, a simulation of drug induced conversations, any likeness to actual events or people is merely circumstantial and does not reflect upon any real events or people bearing any likeness to the fictional names which appear in this dialogue.

'what is there to eat?'

'um.. cinammonhearts, mmm... V8...whatever this is (she says as she shoves another handfull of raisin bran into her mouth)

(she turns the box over and bursts out laughing... )'listen to this!

reads "if you find the golden bobble head....!"

what the fuck is a golden bobble head?

----------------

ade are you okay?

....I don't know... (she says laughing and crying at the same time)

----------------

'Tell me. '

'No, I can't or something very bad will happen.'

'really? like what?" (cheerfully)

-----------

Don't you feel like we're lying on the grass in a park and that light is the sun shining down?

yeah... i even feel itchy.

why? oh, the grass... no. we threw a blanket on the ground before you threw me down.

oh.. did we?! In that scene you just had in your head?

(we lie down again). (she moves her hair onto her neck)

"ow"!

"what?"

"I'll get a sunburn!

I thought we were really outside...."

-------------------

no university college students were harmed in the making of this entry.

by morning the signs were gone.

 

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