May 12, 2003 - sometime a.m.
next... May 12th? Mmm, hmm. I�m pondering yesterday night�s antics. My impromptu visit home... what a great word, impromptu... and then Ciao�s.
Topic; Brazilian girls, here for five months. I�m laughing.. Secretly... cause I�ve somehow figured it out... the less you want in... the faster you get there. Kerri, for example, wanted this girl, Raquel�s number. Her and I were chattin away in Portuguese... her line to get inserted into the conversation she was having involved me being able to speak Portuguese... and ended with Raquel and I having a lengthy discussion about host siblings and culture clash... result: her number.. So we can talk again and hang out. Innocent. Not so innocent was the rush I got when later that evening a certain je ne sais qui, okay, we�ll code name her j... j-ho, if I�m feeling cheeky. �To make a long story short�, being Kerri�s favourite expression last night, I�ll make mine just so...
As j is talking to R... j, being the type to be introduced to me on several previous occasions but can barely bring herself to recognize the passing or air sharing of another human being, let alone dyke, as it seems to cramp her tentatively hip, gloriously bored aura... is engaged in a conversation with said brazilian. In passing, I casually drop a joke to Raquel in Portuguese, leading to a quick little exchange, leaving j slack jawed. Gee, is that all it takes to get someone�s attention? I could have a fucking third eye and she�d never have noticed but poly lingual and she�s suddenly all ears... her demeanor changes, like her ever au courant hairdos...
�Hey, how are you?�, she says familiarly, with a perfected smile. Good, I say, and you?, as I walk away my smile charged with this small victory. I love that I really am so amused by this sudden spurt of interest, which I am now able to chart, and formulate hypotheses around... I should invest in my own personal research project, I�ll give myself a grant... aka. For each well executed experiment I�ll reward myself with gummi worms or... a new pair of pants (it would have to be earth shattering). Anyhow, my queeries... (stolen pun), are making more and more sense to me. Last time it was my guestimate at whether posh company would attract pseudo-posh company. See, someone like Siobhan, who�s been my friend since we both lived in Borington, trying to figure out ways to circumvent curfews, school dress codes and obstruct views of the backyard from my sleeping parents... is someone I honestly admire, ... she is so herself, irrespective of anyone else, their pretentiousness and whatever flattery they may throw her way. I, on the other hand, have been known to swoon naively under an appraising glance... if the type is right. She, is just she. Always. And no matter how fucked up that sometimes is.. I have so much respect for her. She may be one of the few people, jess, marina and ade included, that I will always always love. Forever.
Ooh, this next secret is more fun. I have to do it in code, because whereas my journal used to be unbeknownst to all but me.. Now its not so much... and you never know what will get round. So, all there is to say is that due to the presence of my two particularly most evil nemeses...Who will remain nameless, that is, only to say that they are those who do that lip curl, fake smile that makes my blood boil, one of whom talks to me only when the other lip curler isn�t there, in spite of the fact that we were together for half a year and I bought her kitty litter, did her laundry and cleaned her bathroom (if you know who you are from this description then you must realize what cunts you�re being and it serves you right to read this)... at any rate... every time I went to refill my empty beer bottle with water, (isn�t that vierd?) in the bathroom that night, due to a certain secret visual clue (curious yet?)... I recalled my silent, petty, small but delicious revenge for the now year- long reputation she has fostered for me as a �conniving cupcake stealing bitch�... heh heh. I know something they both don�t. Smiles all around for me.
Oh, and last of all... I slept with a heating pad, instead of you, chipmunk. I hope your teeth, or at least your bleeding sockets don�t hurt too much. I know you like your pills baby.. And nobody, �cept me takes care of you like Anita! Kisses.
