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July 19, 2003 - 12:54 p.m.

and so it seems that we have been left alone... utterly alone. All of our friends have simultaneously dropped from the earth's face and have left ours...puzzled. Six, lets not even get started... seven, eight.... it all just bores me. I don't want to go to bars anymore and sit staring half-assedly at the two hot, interesting (not in this order or even both at the same time) people in the room. Even ange has left us for the warmer shores of bc and without her devious estrogenic escapades of sexual abandon and recklessness in pursuit of the next hot broad, quite unlike those of the peckish hungarian supermodel who as of late, devised weekly plans for the ruin of my relationship, sending among other things, her thong in the mail and hatching new schemes daily to lure my ex into her coniving scandinavian arms... her catch phrase was "i alvays get vat i vant" (just wait til yer fifty bitch!) ... what shall we do?

so, we play. We clean the house. We burn tortillas in the oven and laugh because these are the days of our lives... still, i wonder, in all this monotony... why can i never manage to write it all down... like that long lost pride friday... where we chased a cell phone for blocks that had been picked up by a homeless man and once regaining it, found ourselves in the middle of an episode of COPS, as a car alarm went off in the parking lot beside us 3 times consecutively, the offender walked away with a car stereo... and as the police cruiser rolled up to ...the wrong people,... eventually finding the carstereo stickyhands... while making the arrest the cop fell face first out of the car and onto the curb, asserting from this horizontal position... �ou're under arrest"... and finding the culprit in a fit of giggles and US, thiking this was some covert drop and roll tactic. In the middle of all this commotion, a large, exceeeedingly large black man came up to me and spoke right in my face "are you a lesbian"... horrified, i ... denied it and shook in my boots, at which point he left... and we returned to the prime time white trash cheektowaga arrest scene, which had unfolded to reveal that the criminal did, it turns out, own the car and his lame story about locking himself out was... true. We were set to watch him fume in indignation at being arrested in what totally looked like racial profiling... except that he thought being arrested was hillarious and quite exciting... we were all freaked out, mostly because as key witnesses, talking to the police officer, who was laughing at his face planted partner... we were paranoid stoned out of our minds and trying not to look it. The evening ended in a jolly stroll down church and the question repeating every five minutes... did that all just happen?

 

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