January 12, 2004 - 11:17 a.m.
there's a cold breeze cutting through the library... and my hands are fumbling through these letters... stiff from the wind and cringing at the ice that the palladian windows frame so ominously...
outside i can see ten foot slices of blizzard and the most uninviting walk to the next class... which starts in an hour and forty minutes.
So, instead of reading like a good kid, i'm doing everything but. sifting through pages of other people's thoughts, catching up, trying to connect to something that feels meaningful. maybe im just avoiding the hundred and forty pages of AIDs lit i'm supposed to be reading because it weighs on my heart and brings me into vivid sad places where i can't look at people because i feel like we're all smudged, like the end of a pencil has been dragged across each face, slowly wiping us all out.
I, mistakenly, sent out a queery, to find out if anyone else in this laureate discussion group identifies as LGBTQ... or even F as in friendly... because the only contacts i saw people making were ones based on what university they went to and what city they lived in... sorry, but i doubt that i'm gonna meet someone and want to be best friends just because they won the same scholarship as i did.. and from the level of discussion i've already witnessed, i'd rather walk out into that blizzard and meet some random person from "the t-dot" instead of any boring asshole from that discussion group... who says t-dot anyway? unless they're saying it in a tongue in cheeky way...
so, to my message:
Just curious, since everyone's already figured out who's from what university or city... any one OUT there?
shayne U of T, Sexual Diversity Studies/ Drama and English Specialist
the two responses i got were....
A) I'm not sure that it matters, and I'm curious to know why you're asking, however, I shall say at least that I'm open to having a discussion on the subject
(that's encouraging), or
B) I was curious too. Anyone willing to share experiences as LGBTQ university students? It has been an area of interest to me as well...
I'm not sure i feel like being stuck in a hotel with these people for a weekend conference...
but at least it's in Toronto and I can always just run away and go home...
k... now i'm frozen... time to go get coffee
