|
February 14, 2004 - 9:13 p.m. every day i wonder how this can still go on and i read you read the small things that tell me ...wheels are turning though your back is turned and I turn the other cheek in love with you through the tears and tell you again that in spite of it all i will want you but caution do not wait too long or i will be broken and i have been so sad that i don't know how i'm still living because sad like this is not healthy and each day that you feed me little bits of hope it makes me stronger for one more day of this until i realize that these days string together and leave me empty still but anger becomes fuel, but the kind that is bad for the environment and it does not make me pretty and pretty is what i want to be for you to remind you why you should change your mind but don't wait too long because i'm starting to realize that i have to be my own fuel, that hope from you is not worth much when love from you is worth so little now, the market has crashed and i am left with these bonds and i am saving my hope because what you have offered me has turned to nothing but pieces of paper, like the one on my desk that says " i missed you last night" what does that mean? and how does that help me?! I miss you each day. all the time and this is hurting me and this is not me this angry, sad, terrible person is the reduction of all the things you love which cannot be shown because i'm trying to keep them away from all these bad things that are poison to us and will be ruined the minute these two parts overlap. i have to save something. for myself. i have to go. until you can speak to me again, the words that are more than hope because they are certain but you cannot be certain until you know goodbye is the word between now and then and when you know come and find me. now
|