April 09, 2004 - 1:12 p.m.
trying to recall
what she meant
when she said
what she said
so much that was not
supposed to be said out loud
and somehow it all seemed normal
and sweet
not wierd
and unaffected
we were left
to choose our own time to leave
and so, singing,
'I'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh, I've had it up to here
Oh, am I making myself clear?
Am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl, I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl, in the world
That's all the you'll let be
I'm just a girl living in captivity
Your rules of thumb makes me worrisome
I'm just a girl what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to, it's making numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Tweedledum there's no comparison
Oh, I've had it up to, oh, I've had it up...'
to here
we tumble into bed and sing- there
our own illustrations, the pictures on the walls,
our bodies become more legible the less we conceal them
scaling the walls with our shadows and reminding ourselves to look
closer
you scale me, my skin lies on the floor and i am
undone
please take me in pieces,
build me up and knock me down
strike one
i've lost count
and we sleep,
so we sleep and i forget
all but the feeling that something has happened
five o'clock brings calls across the quad, singing sweet ladies in black, a group homogeneous in their difference, deliberate and striking, call out into the warmest air we've felt for months, and we carry armloads of cardboard, peeping open, unable to conceal the photographs that tell secrets that aren't really secrets because the truth is in our eyes, the truth is in letters like s, d and s and all the things that those letters stand for.
and the people know, and i am not shy, it is written in print more than my beaming eyes can say.
it is that skin that lights me,
and other confessions, not private except in the context of each person's thoughts, reflected in scenes of scattered objects on floors, that recalls in us the same experiences of nostalgia... that day... could be that night. it was last night, following an afternoon of wine and sunshine
that recreated that image, all images...
we live in each picture and recreate it every moment we relive that feeling
i am pulled
i am stripped down
i am so content
and it has sent me to sleep
with a lazy perfect smile
