October 07, 2004 - 1:42 p.m.
the more you stay away the more i want to know writing out from within myself is never someone i've been certain of knowing realizing the words say "i can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound" stays my fingers sending these words and i never trust them when they smile... my self leaving my hands, out into the open closed envelopes and waiting response respond respond respond. ... and it leaves me to hang hang and wonder ... and the timer on the oven clock is beeping done. finished. ready. and we all hang on time... like Dali our minds melt, draped over natural states like tired and woken withered i am never really certain of whether i wake up before the alarm because i'm no longer tired or because i like to defy its authority or because it fools me into thinking i am in fact not tired or because it is preferable to the jarring incremental incessant beeping of nokia ring number 5000seventywhatever my mental clock has stopped. ... but really i'm not that tired. more hungry. chai tea smoothing down the hackles within. i'm salivating... waiting because now that i've sent it... all i can do is wait... baited for the reward i know i'll get for sitting patiently. .... and so, i eat pizza... pita crust, spinach, olive oil, white cheddar, garlic, pine nuts and seasoning bubbling over beautifully. this is life without pain. watching through the lit oven window... like looking into the hospital viewing room to the rows of cradles. but i have not been waiting nine months. waiting... timed and ready to rise but to what occasion? .... no one has come to meet my mind for ages. and how many people are sitting listening to music that makes them long to speak? infectious marriage of sound and language if only i could remember history like lyrics "i wont mistake you for problems with me" and how was Benjamin Franklin so with it? How did he know so much back then? How does one become a figure that everyone knows inside out, whether or not they realize that they know them? He is in our kitchens, our ceilings and our mouths. Even my grandmother used to say... "a penny saved is a penny earned". the dissemination of ideas is mind blowing. pop culture may just be the next 'way to wealth'. and not just the aguilera-trump-hilton type... but the more subtle open-eared, open heart, open mind wealth of thought.
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