November 06, 2004 - 12:18 p.m.
on spite
Jealousy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you try to tell someone not to cheat, to be faithful to you.. the more you push them towards the exact thing that you're afraid of. Classic example of taboo making something all the more appealing. If he talks alot about how he's afraid of this... inevitably it puts the seed of thought into your head, and for most people.. you'd start to wonder why he has so little confidence in his ablility to keep you entranced. His doubt will eventually overflow and start to affect the way others perceive him. Tell him how much confidence turns you on. For me, one of the cockiest but hottest things i ever heard someone say was..."why would I worry about someone cheating on me? I'm hot and they'd be stupid NOT to want to be with me".
Keeping someone on a leash, doesn't keep them from straying. The trick is to teach them to WANT to stay, leash or no leash. Free will is a beautiful thing. So remind him that you've got one and that through your superior judgement you've singled him out as someone worth spending your time with. And since you describe yourself as dedicated and loyal (something any guy should be patting themselves on the back to have lucked out on) he should only worry about losing you if HE gives you a very valid reason to consider leaving. If he treats you well and reciprocates your loyalty, he should look forward to some smooth sailing. Furthermore, he should recognize your discernment and good taste in choosing him, and give YOU more credit for being able to appeciate what a great guy he is. Being jealous won't keep you, but it will drive a wedge between you. Instead he should concentrate on keeping his best qualities, the ones that attracted you to him in the first place, in the foreground.
