January 21, 2005 - 1:21 p.m.
feeling, somehow, like the top of my head has flown off
lobotomized as i stare at red words
that say nothing
but chirp insistent, non-descript signs of "lost"
and names and dates funnel into line, all ordered and logical,
but white.
first thought, best thought,
"they shot the white woman first"
I am holes in heart
falling at my own shot expectations.
shivering through my own breath
billowing out around my ears
the flapping skull cap releases thought
not steam
and screaming insecurity
why not? why not? why not?
