March 06, 2005 - 3:22 a.m.
crisp, flash green, snap red...
fade to calm
keep your head
as the death squad fires. repeat. not dead yet.
praise be
to phonographic memory
else i'da lost these jewels
scattered as the chain broke.
clear head
as the link itself is slandered.
seems like the "cokehead" is proportionally less impaired than the "concerned" friend.
choice words...
"i don't want to sit next to that fucking asshole"
selfish, greedy, cokehead,
15 minutes, 19 minutes, 20...40
time flies when you're wrapped up in rage.
lying asshole, liar, bitch, "cool"
disgusting, and all the inglorious, infamous adjectives.
i walked away. after providing the cues for conversation, after hearing..."you make me sick, i have nothing to say to you... fucking, piece of shit..."
and still come back for more
irrate, irrational (sorry to use the dreaded word)
"come get your shit so that i don't have to speak to you again"
take you at your word
walk away, again, return, bombardment
and yet, the walls do not fall
calm, almost serene, logical
which drives you into a deeper rage
understandable, yet beyond rational discourse.
I'm standing here having a conversation with someone who hasn't even asked me the first question...
who is muttering irrate, monosyllabic words to themself, adding flare with colourful embellishments...
as I get out.
finally
enough.
fuck you.
i wouldn't take that from a partner.
and somehow I've been reduced in 15 minutes (even if it was the suggested 40)... "I'm leaving"
erased and diminished in a facile way to
"less than"
for something that has yet to be spoken.
because screaming doesn't count.
and when you say "i'm leaving"
i assume you mean it.
maybe i'm supposed to see your insults on a parallel to your threats to leave.
or should I just assume you want a further audience to your anger?
i'm no captive.
especially not in this boat.
you've turned. tipped. i may know why
but I won't pretend to understand it.
i'm not going to appologize for your pyroclastic display
not when I came to the site, to the arch itself,
to inquire about the recently reported activities...
and all you could do
was smoke.
