July 09, 2005 - 2:17 a.m.
the cat comes to inspect my lips, my arms, my elbow scenting foreign sweat the scene makes me so self conscious biting the walls waiting with nails poised to end the extent of growth without knowing the useless edge of consciousness the self left out to be scrutinized' and I say, i don't care suspended in moments past where your new curls and her hands don't matter and I still let you. how difficult to erase a presence entirely i've tried and still you determine me beyond the scope of my intentions you measure and define the perameters of my steps I am conscious of your eyes and they limit my sphere of movement, from minute to magiscule the breadth of a smile the arc of my bee-line they are inhibited by your eyes and the memory, jaded, stored and rummaged to death by inhibition, tacked and staple of my new leaf cut-out and withered waiting awaiting the click of consciousness I'm a different girl now awakened by lips and taken down from the wall unhinged and tact-less I float into the realm of the uninitiated so long gone so un tasted you have no idea but I know I am not waiting I am living without sidelong glances to the mirrors of the past heedless of fabric and fabrication full pints of gumption and garlic and all things without reason or desire unmeasured and pointing to more truth than words and skin and freedom from those spoken things like past and never and done I'm a different girl now.
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