November 22, 2005 - 2:52 p.m.
after accidentally seeing several episodes of Newly Weds
I feel that I have sufficient grounds to state my observations:
either Jessica Simpson is an incredible actress, capitalizing on America's fascination with vapidity...
or she's one of the stupidest people alive.
I'm suspicious that the media are in on this too, and maintain the ambiguity of this matter, by presenting her moments of unintelligence in such a proliferation that one must ask... "can she possibly act this way all the time?"
like my friend Ivy, I get the sense that she's not from this world. that she exists on a separate plane of being, removed from the weighty matters of everyday life, floating, dissembodied... except for that obviously well-insured, floor model she's been driving around, driving anyone who happens to have a crotch nuts since she broke out those Daisy Dukes.
I speak from an inside position, as it requires more than ten fingers and at least one foot to count the number of times people have said to me, ... "I was so surprised to find out you're not dumb". Why is it that so many people assume, without speaking to me, that I'm clueless?
If I looked like Jessica Simpson, or even Jessica Rabbit, I could understand. As it stands, I'm at a loss. People assume that I have no brain, political opinions or nasty habits, that I couldn't possibly be engaged and critical of social issues, locally or globally.
Is it the lipgloss? Lack of plaid? the purse? the shoes? the mascara? the fact that from the neck up and shoulders down, to the naked eye, I don't appear to have any controversial, politically incorrect, subversive marks, attitudes, or habits... except that I'm a tattoo'd, pot-smoking, feminist, lesbian with a background in ballet and a fetish for piercings. I can't even remember the last time I saw my 'natural' haircolour, although somehow people still think I seem very 'nice', very 'safe'. Imposing, tall and intimidating, bitchy and difficult but still 'nice'. I'm not quite sure I understand this. Although passing in this way is convenient and I enjoy the ability to get 'inside' the velvet rope and then slowly turn the tables on people who think they've got me pegged.
Outwardly, I seem to blend in all the ways I never expected to, while sticking out in others. A friend once tried to put her finger on it...the description for a walking contradiction, dubbing it 'funky-wholesome'. and i guess in a lot of ways I am. wholesome...in the apple-picking, small town childhood, fond of pets and reading, arrived in the big city wide eyed and often excited by simple things like ice cream and fireworks kinda way. But then there's the rest.
I've heard that the hardest thing to live down is a good reputation, which I seem to be able to assume when desired. But how about a reputation that has nothing to do with any actual reality (concerning myself) that I'm aware of? Admittedly, I'm scatterbrained, clumsy, impulsive and cheerful. I'm self-conscious, but outwardly confident, making conversation easily, and not just about the weather. It leaves me perplexed.
I just don't get it. But I guess that's what people expected.
