January 27, 2006 - 12:38 p.m.
I feel like i'm living in an episode of the Lword, although this microcosm of dykey drama has a longer run than three seasons together, the commercial break is coming and i'm left replete with converging problems and an impending climax.
ironically, i go by the name of shayne, never having seen an episode of the show before taking on this hefty role.
we're hot to melting point and ready for something explosive.i just ate the left-over steak of my pseudo-vegetarian, dietary finicky lover, after attempt 5000 and three to prepare meat that she'll eat more than half of,
in the work arena, i'm dealing with impossible shifts and rent that automatically disappears from my bank account each month, even if the money i'm making isn't anywhere near what i'm spending,
my show is coming together, with irresponsible choreographers, last minute rehearsals being crammed into too few hours in too few days, plus our poster designer is hopelessly off-track and under the impression that everything is fine,
i'm off to meet with an artist for next month's show,
trying to track down costumes from a bitch who won't return my calls or emails and seems to have disappeared with three garbagebags worth of vintage costumes from a show we did together last summer,
and at the opening week of an entirely different show I tripped over my feet, and my partner's trying to not say the wrong thing in front of a girl who makes me exceedingly nervous...to the point where it's comical.
my ex-girlfriend, first-love, best friend has dropped off the face of the planet, which may mean she's a) extremely happy, and newly in love, b) depressed and entangled in a fizzled-out non-love or c)otherwise entangled in a life that she feels is a sitcom starring herself.
the dreaded, hot artist who's been out of the country for 4 months is returning imminently and causing underwater tremors to disturb further, the surface of what i'd like to call calm waters, except they're not.
to top it all off, my parents are in town for dinner and i'll soon be thrown into several conversations i'm in no way ready to have, with all my ideas on the inside and all my words stuck in my hands.
good ratings aside, i'm feeling disheveled and should probably put some real pants on before trying to leave the house, to sort out at least some of this mess.
I'm staring my own chart, regardless of the consequences, ... some of us need to look in our closets before we decide what to do with all these skeletons.
