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December 12, 2006 - 4:55 p.m.

do they read because they think they'll nudge their way into my brain?
what is the motive? I wonder, but find myself equally caught in the stickiness of knowing something through hints and image traces that hide a person behind the translation of one.

I'm guilty of it. There aren't many people that I want to know that I don't already...yet, i'm convinced that I would connect with her. Maybe it's just lust. And the inability to convey interest passively, when every word is invasive: S.W.F. Impossible to come off as anything but predatory.

Impossible not to be skeptical when cynical is the everyday default.

Naturally she, so I imagine, is as wary of people as I would be...wary of anyone who so obviously wanted to know me.
From her stand-offish pose, eyes beckoning, while her lips snarl fuck-off, she cultivates an incredibly effective seduction ploy, for those of us unfortunate enough to stumble, unprepared, into her cyber line-of-sight. Her sporadic correspondence sends a momentary smoke signal, so you think, leading you to the dead-end of her smug smile. You're caught, thinking you'd gotten somewhere. And she knows it. or does she?
She breathes life into the illusion, staccato words that punctuate the gloss...but only with people she knows. knows? She initiates conversation that ends in a blank. cursor. cursor. got me.
playing hard to get doesn't work here. It's playing invisible.

 

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