January 12, 2007 - 4:54 p.m.
warren-ted
you know how in German you can shove five small words together, compounding them into one long, yet precise, gasp-and-spit-it-out uberword? yeah, well, he does that in English.
Accusing you of using jargon and under-explicating,... or over-explicating, or just not saying it the way HE would have, he gets out his magical pen and the music swells. It's show time.
Writing his criticism in the tone of a bitch-diva drag queen, he smirks together every multi-syllabic he can muster into a compound nightmare of a run on sentence, NOT because it lacks all the properly articulated subject, noun and verb accordances*, but because every word is so goddamn long that by the time you get to the end all you're thinking is... 'what?>Q"Q!@#$)?'
there had to be an easier way to say that.
And there is.
he's an ass hole.
the most disappointing part of it all is that it's just so sad. sad and predictable...and disheartening, to see someone who's clearly so intelligent find such utter delight in making every one else feel very very small. Rather than using his brain to inspire others, leaving a legacy of engaged and mind-blown young scholars following like devoted, doe-eyed, zombies,hanging on his words and hoping to approximate his greatness...one day, one day... he sends us all to the toilets with his 400$, 300 lb readers to spend our lives crawling through things we'll never talk about in the seminar.
You wonder why you were so 'disappointed' by the essays? maybe we were too busy reading the 900 pages due on the same day as our essays, on the last day of class.
Back again to puke into that same toilet after stumbing to the first day of a new semester to find him reading his own syllabus aloud, raving about how 'brilliant' it is.
you must be thrilled to have climbed up that ivory tower, letting all your golden words down to taunt the poor assholes below. the ones who called you a sissy and a fag. Safe in your tower, they can't touch you now. Safe in your tower of big words and ugly suit jackets, no one can criticize you ever. Cause you got yourself some tenure and you're looking down from up there, in your office, with your ipod headphones jammed in so tight all you'll ever have to hear are the snappy tunes and you can smirk your way through a pile of essays imagining that every condescending word is the retort you never said fast enough to all those dumb kids who teased you in school.
Hope you feel better now.
*(all grammatic elements are accounted for, I assure you. Except, just one thing. At the end, just after you finished telling me how hard it was for you to get through,...yeah, you know the part. Well, it must have been the trauma, .. but you forgot to punctuate. full stop.)
