April 27, 2010 - 8:24 p.m.
You confuse and upset me.
"offputting.." I called your strange negativity.
You act like i'm supposed to understand you without knowing you.
I'm curious. I told you.
and this, in response to your "i could fall in love with a girl like you" comments.
you say you have your guard up. but i don't want to live that way. You make me feel crazy. I spend needless time wondering if I shoudl bother getting to know you, or prioritizing thoughts of you. but feel, all the while, like i'm being blown off. My instinct is telling me to switch on my heel, but i'm drawn, improbably, to you. your intelligence. You are so negative and cynical, but I feel like it's not you.. without anything to back this up, except my gut. and you say, 'I am that way'.
but I don't quite believe it. I feel, my warmth and optimism, met somewhere by you and in the touch I felt on the small of my back...
you say you've never experienced anything like that before - me in the back of your car, on top of you, in your lap, lips only...
and i could feel you starting to cave, your resolve starting to slide. but i knew that i didn't want to take it thre, in case you thought better of it. i don't want a place of regret in your heart, only fascination.
'i told you i'm not ready for anything' and I said, neither am i.
We are in the same boat. But i feel you drifting towards me. and I know you feel something.
but i'm not scared like you.
