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April 28, 2011 - 8:12 p.m.

Do I have OCD,
or is it just Glee?
Am I succeptible to influence?
Or do my nailbiting,
stove-checking, lights out, cats-not-locked in anywhere,
click the car's automatic door lock twice (at least)
alarm sounding habits mean I am scatter-brained, short-memoried, formerly-fried or just ... spacey
I watch too much television, worry too much
carry on
at a pace that makes me have to constantly look over my shoulder to remind myself to breathe, live and stop
neck-craned, like a toddler in a Chinese restaurant, stopped in his tracks by a lobster tank
"Lobsters uggy"
waiting to watch the world in retrospect as we rushed head-long towards the future.
i always had such gusto that they never realized I had it too,
cause I faked those early entrances,
masked with such a veneer of false confidence,
you'd never know I was the type
to get stage fright,
to forget,
to have no idea
and to have restaurant waitress work-nightmares about all the things I can't keep straight but fake
so that nobody knows
i get anxiety
but function
like a normal girl,
only better

 

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