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September 12, 2012 - 9:28 p.m.

Hypothetical

Can I have a conversation with you, adult to adult?

You seem like, genuinely, such a nice person
and on charm alone, so many doors are going to open for you

I went home last night and did a lot of thinking and wanted to talk to my partner about what I saw in the halls - the homophobic jokes and hassling you guys give each other

Sometimes it's easy to use harsh words when you don't know who you're hurting.

When you talk that way you're hurting me. Me specifically.

You may not see me the same way you see a gay man, but we have the same struggle. And you may not see a connection between me and yourself, but we're both people who deserve our human right to live free from harassment and fear. Every day, in this work place, I come and spend my day trying to create a space for every person in this building that is free from racism, discrimination, inequality and where you feel free to be yourself.

The people with the most to lose are the people who don't feel able to be themselves. And instead of seeing ways that we share our struggle, I see people who could be making room for others to breathe ... instead of helping to push rights forward for everyone, grabbing hold of power and status by pushing others down and stepping on them to get up, closer to power.

I don't believe you're someone who could look in my face and tell me you think I don't deserve to exist. But that's the message you send when the language that surrounds you is violent and homophobic, like I need to be constantly worried that if I come out, just by being who I am, I may no longer be treated fairly.

And you'll all joke, because you don't know how else to react. Because just being cool with it isn't... cool. But it takes a strong, secure person to live and let live, to insist that the rights you want, should be the rights we should all have. Your greatest power is to empower others and show people how to be better by being better than you were yesterday.

 

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