September 26, 2003 - 9:20 a.m.
Hey sav, if you're looking for your reply it's on the previous page...
nuff about YOU, how bout what i really wanted to talk about.
it�s all here. Found once..more. Unless she blocks it out, shuts me away again.
The pagn in my heart hit me when i clicked, by chance, on you. and i wonder now, how much you know about my life. If you've seen me lately and thought... it doesn't really matter how much we say, because I know.
You've heard it all in the diluted trickle down that ends up... Here.
I'm sorry for all the i'm sorries i never got to tell you.
These words, your words are a tribute...to what a beautiful human being you are... and to how hard i wish i could know you again, but how unlikely i think that might be.
2002-04-23 - 10:09 p.m.
Explain more relentless than I contain
The less time I have, the more I need to know
Spill my brain and find me the answer
It's all in my length
And out of my control...
You finally understand your painful movements
Hold still for a moment so I can find where you left me
Endured and dropped and picked up by you
Invisible reality shakes down your perception
The passion of you never felt the anger
Loathe what you adore and throw it back at me
So hard passing through
I forgot what it was you wanted me for...
Lagging in your under tow
I'm free but still pulled
I lost my dignity somewhere
In between my devotion and my shelter
You could have left me with nothing
It would have felt like more
I left my strength lying
Underneath your protected words...
Compare my mistakes to you
Centered in yourself parading about you
With all I could have changed
It could still never have touched you...
You held me under
Beating words harder than speaking hands
Once you're done with what I had
I'll pull you up to meet me...
Following in my recovery
I'm amazed at how much you see
Now that you're behind me...
2002-04-29 - 1:24 a.m.
I remember your day, I remember its time
I remember how you didn't want me to come
But I forced myself beside you
I thought I could change your mind...
Once more I'll touch you
Feel my life in your eyes
All you need is to hold me
There's more between this
Then just us...
I remember your position, when I came into your room
Standing on old territory under a new name
I remember thinking how beautiful you were
How you were worth anything I could give
Last time I was here, I was everything
But now I'm just a friend...
So angry at you
It was like I needed it
Sitting on old dreams I'm defenceless
Even this softness seems hard
Talking couldn't help
Pulling you close did less
You hate the sound of my weakness
I cry because I've got nothing left...
I remember the look you gave me
When I reached out for you
It was like I'd never done it
And like you never wanted me too...
I remember how I shook
And how you never moved
All I wanted was a reaction
Or something that would remind me of you...
You can't ignore me forever
I won't just walk away
Don't try to convince me it's over
It's the only thing I know is real
I remember telling you I'd change
I'll be what you need me to be
Hate me if you really want to
But please
Don't try to forget how you feel...
I'll endure whatever you give
I'll be strong as I wait here for you
I'll love you until you come back to me
It's not like I've got anything better
To do...
I understand my mistakes
I know why you're leaving
You don't need to explain a thing to me
Except why this is happening...
