July 19, 2012 - 9:20 p.m.
I wrote you a wedding speech,
but you aren't even getting married.
It just occurred to me
what I would want to say.
I don't even know if you'd want me to speak
or even attend your wedding
- your loves have always been possessive and protective of you
perhaps it is this
perhaps instead
or also
it is because you know what I would say
what I could say
recklessly
like some scene in a movie
so I would start by offering
a disclaimer
a disavowal
a caution to myself and a reassurance to my audience, like a 'no animals were harmed' inclusion in the credits
but beforehand
just to put everyone at ease.
I'd like to assure you, that there will be a few times that you might get an impending sense of awkwardness or disaster throughout this speech.
I'd like to reassure you
that although this may happen
you can relax
everything said, or about to be said here
comes with love and purpose
(the way I assure my students... stick with me on this one, I know it seems like I'm rambling and this has nothing to do with what we were talking about, but it does, i promise)
There was a time in my life
when I thought that - I -
would marry Jess.
(that's one of those moments... and no, it's not going in that direction)
and I mention this... only because it's important to the point.
She is easy to love.
So easy to love, that Jessica has left, in her wake, a forlorn trail of people who could not help but love her. How many times did I watch her, aloof, explain her surprise when someone - not even necessarily a girlfriend, would act so strangely because - unbeknownst to her - they had fallen. Hard. Mostly, unfortunately, without her knowledge - except for a nameless few who did, in fact profess their love, but who, sadly, had also lost their minds.
I like to tease her about perpetuating the stereotypes about lesbians being crazy... because she has dated a few... (again... stay with me)
I didn't go crazy until after I met her, which is my own problem and which, fortunately, she didn't have to deal with.
I was one of the lucky ones (or unlucky unless you're _____ ) who fell in love with her. Because she is charming. Because she is talented. Smart. Beautiful. Funny. Quirky. Headstrong. Generous and Strong. All the qualities that make someone a 'catch'.
At sixteen, I wanted to marry this girl.
But it's a good thing that didn't happen... because the girl she was then, is not half the woman she is now. The person she has become is incredible, and just a glimpse of the person she will be twenty, thirty, fifty years from now.
And I cannot express how lucky and how proud, her partner to be is. The hands you are holding today, are the hands of someone who has grown to fit just you, to support and care for you, to bend with you and to continue growing together. In the right soil, there is no telling what kind of incredible landscape your love will become.
All of this, this preamble... explains why I am often protective of her, and why I am so, so excited that she has found someone who is crazy about her, without, in fact, being crazy.
And it explains why, seeing her here, I am proud of her, and excited for her... to have found someone who she loves so deeply ... and who has put all of our minds at ease!
Congratulations. You deserve this happiness. This is what I always dreamed of for you, because even and especially because it isn't me - I have always wanted you to be happy.
