January 19, 2004 - 11:07 a.m.
up all night..
half sleeping...
scared,
thinking...
i heard a sound at the door
same as the dream that woke me
kept me away from sleep
same room, same feeling
i hear the door handle rattling.
but there are two silent figures in this bed
i hear keys and walk half sleeping to the door.
there is no one that should have keys to our house
especially not at this hour
i am still bewildered
i move to check the locks, to make sure we are safely double bolted into this space
in slow motion i watch as the door locks turn... releasing the bolt
too slowly... too slowly i float my weight against the door
as a gloved hand, fingers cut, reaches through our door
the hand thrusts an object though the space of light squeezing through from the hall, jamming it between the door and frame
and i cannot make a sound
i can't even make my hands respond to my brain that tells them to push against the door or scream to tell you what's happening... i try to make my arms respond and pound against the door, but my hammering is a dull hollow laughing sound
all i see is the gloved hand pushing its way inside
i wonder why
i cannot sleep
