February 22, 2005 - 11:58 a.m.
hack my head
i'm so sick of this
i want to eject
to ejaculate...you know... that stuff that builds up
gorging my brain,
keeping me from productive, healthy pursuits...
fingers glued, in mirror-land, where all things are not equal or fair
and that's "normal".
In my make believe world, the norm is a sugarry amalgam of the myths we tell ourselves
and i go to sleep each night believing that tomorrow will actually be this way:
sweet and revoltingly pure,
without the predictable tooth decay
the rot inside this myth is painless
that's why we never notice it coming
grow inside, until you have to project outwards,
there is nowhere else for it to go.
please, please, please,
just let the recycling of old parts
focus
on the ones that need replacing.
stop relinquishing control of your heart
stop letting technology try to improve your mind. stick to blank verse and letters
tangible things that aren't encoded
in objects with screens, lenses and filters
distortion of the will
I don't want to photoshop my reality-
you can't fool me into thinking I am a determinable whole
I know better
I am vacillating, broken and living
still
tired of waiting to become something I don't even believe in.
i'm tired of fake.
tired of being read
tired of being penetrated
willingly. read me. go ahead.
I dare you.
alternate ending = fuck you.
